Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Koala/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 10:02, 30 July 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Koala[edit]

Koala (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): LittleJerry (talk) 19:46, 26 June 2013 (UTC), Sasata[reply]

Submitted for your approval, one of the most iconic animals of Australia. I started working on this article months ago and Sasata was nice enough to jump on board and improve its comprehensiveness, sourcing and prose. We now feel it is ready. LittleJerry (talk) 19:46, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Note: This is a WikiCup nomination. The following nominators are WikiCup participants: Sasata. To the nominator: if you do not intend to submit this article at the WikiCup, feel free to remove this notice. UcuchaBot (talk) 00:01, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images So far I've only looked at the images. They are all free licenses and on Commons. I did some minor fixing on two of them on Commons. I have no issues with the images. Will look over the rest later but first impression is very good. PumpkinSky talk 12:01, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support now PumpkinSky talk 17:54, 5 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Nice to see such an important article here.

  • "the continent's eastern and southern regions" - The country, or the island. Not the continent, surely?
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is possible that these variations are separate subspecies" It's the populations that are possibly subspecies, not the variations. The variations are the differences in colour.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Further details about the animal's biology were revealed in the 1800s by several English scientists who investigated various aspects of its biology." Repetition
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • No mention of the relationship between native Australians and Koalas in the lead gives off an ever-so-slight colonial feel.
Added. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The koala's genus name" Generic name or possibly genus's name? We wouldn't say "species name", I don't think
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Phascolarctos cinereus may have emerged as a dwarf form of P. stirtoni known as the giant koala." The dwarf form wasn't known as the giant koala, surely?
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:36, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in other tree genera" They can't- they can be found in/on trees of other genera.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In general, however, koalas tend to avoid energy wasting aggressive behaviour." Energy-wasting?
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Males begin to produce sperm, but they have limited reproductive success until they are large enough to stand against a mature rival.[82]" When? When they're sexually mature? If so, when do they stop growing?
Fixed. Things got mixed up. LittleJerry (talk) 01:43, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not sure I'm keen on the in-text external link.
Me neither, removed. Sasata (talk) 02:47, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there perhaps potential for a section on the use of koalas for food? It's mentioned a few times that Aboriginal groups utilised them- is this still going on? Are they hunted?
  • The lack of a distribution section is also a bit of a surprise
Already in "Behaviour and ecology" section. LittleJerry (talk) 01:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 23:12, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the animals can survive in urban areas provided there are enough trees, though urban koalas are vulnerable to collisions with vehicles and attacks by domestic dogs;[150] about 4000 koalas are killed this way every year." By dogs, or by dogs and vehicles combined?
Combined; now clarified. Sasata (talk) 02:29, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thoroughly engaging read, definitely a worthy topic for FA status. I've no doubt that this is close. J Milburn (talk) 22:48, 1 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Almost full support (as long as source/image checks come back OK); I still wonder if there's potential for a more explicit mention of their exploitation as a food source by humans. It's alluded to a couple of times, but never properly addressed. If a tweak to the article (even a line or two) is made or an explanation as to why that's not possible/ideal is forthcoming, I'll happily switch to a full support. Other than that, the article seems comprehensive and well-sourced, and it's definitely engagingly written. J Milburn (talk) 13:03, 3 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Sasata is getting to your concern. LittleJerry (talk) 16:44, 3 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks from me too! I've added a short paragraph about Aboriginal hunting here; does this address your concerns? Sasata (talk) 17:33, 3 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Great stuff! J Milburn (talk) 18:42, 3 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Cwmhiraeth - a good read. Here are a few points my over-pernickety eye picked out:

Now supporting this candidacy Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:55, 12 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The word "populations" is overused in the last 2 sentences of #1 of the lead.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Koalas were known to indigenous Australians for millennia" - Though no doubt true, this seems an odd remark.
I don't understand. LittleJerry (talk)
The remark was added because I was concerned that there was no mention of the relationship of Aboriginal groups and Koalas, leading to a somewhat Euro-centric lead. I'm open to it being adjusted, but I do feel a mention of Aboriginals in the lead is needed. J Milburn (talk) 15:32, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Well, how about something like "Koalas play an important role in the culture of indigenous Australians" Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:09, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done. LittleJerry (talk) 03:06, 10 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
After some back-and-forth adjusting, I've changed it to "Koalas have been known to indigenous Australians for millennia; they hunted the animals and depicted them in myths and cave art." Does that seem satisfactory? Sasata (talk) 01:04, 12 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What about "Koalas were hunted by indigenous Australians and depicted in myths and cave art for millennia". I agree that "known to" sounds a bit silly. --99of9 (talk) 15:48, 12 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done. LittleJerry (talk) 14:54, 15 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The caption for the range map needs clarification.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "larger molars and premolars (causing the teeth to move downwards within the head)" - Is this downward movement in both jaws? Please clarify.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "These forms are distinguished by pelage colour and thickness, size and skull shape." - Somewhat ambiguous - I thought at first it was the skull that had varying thickness and size.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On 9 April 2013, a team of scientists from the Queensland University of Technology led by professor of microbiology Peter Timms announced they had sequenced the koala genome." - This sentence seems unnecessarily detailed.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Koalas have curved, sharp claws that allow them to climb trees." - Lions have curved, sharp claws. Are they allowed to climb trees too?
Yes. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The koala has a cartilaginous pad at the end of the spine that may serve to make it more comfortable to sit in tree forks." - The second half of this sentence might be better "that may make it more comfortable when it perches in the fork of a tree."
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... resulting in more efficient stomach digestion and nutrient absorption in the small intestine.[42] Koalas may also store food in their cheek pouches before it is ready to be chewed.[43] After chewing, the food passes through the relatively small stomach and into the small intestine, which digests the eucalyptus leaves to provide most of the animal's energy" - Seems somewhat repetitive. Perhaps the cheek pouch sentence could be moved and the other two combined.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The population on Magnetic Island represents the northern limit of their range." - "its range".
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Queensland, koalas are unevenly distributed with the exception of the southeast." - are they numerous or scarce in the southeast?
This is how the source presents it. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 17:14, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • ... they have meagre fat reserves and cannot be deprived of food for more than 24 hours." - I think you mean that they need to feed often otherwise this will starve.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Paragraph 2 of "Foraging and activities" seems to imply that the koala uses its limited brain power to make decisions on limiting energy use and conserving energy.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What happens if it rains continuously for more than 24 hours?
Doesn't say. They are different sources. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... and individuals are known to sniff the base of a tree before climbing.[62] Scent marking is known ..." - Overuse of "known".
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 16:32, 8 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "When climbed over by a conspecific, ..." - how about "When another individual climbs over it, ..."?
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "At seven weeks of age, the head grows longer and becomes proportionally large" " - You have just been referring to the female so perhaps "the joey's head"
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...to attach a loop of ropey bark to the end of the long, thin pole, ..." - Perhaps "a long, thin pole"
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Since European arrival, localised deforestation of eucalypts ..." - I would prefer "Since Europeans arrived" or "Since the arrival of Europeans".
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chlamydiosis" is mentioned in the last paragraph but not by name in the health and mortality section.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Not realy. Chlamydiosis is a diseases caused by a pathogen in the Chlamydophila genus. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:58, 10 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 00:13, 12 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Not many problems this time. The whole article is an interesting read and I now know much more about koalas than I did previously. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:56, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All the points I raised have been actioned and I now support this nomination. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:55, 12 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review – the FA coordinator has asked for a source review, which I shall be happy to carry out within the next three days (or within the next 24 hours if the British Library has the books onsite.) Tim riley (talk) 13:24, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Tks Tim, although pls see this by way of clarification... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:39, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Oh, right! Well I'd do it tomorrow with those books the BL has to hand. A swift and selective check, reporting back by tea-time tomorrow GMT. Tim riley (talk) 13:49, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Source review and spot-checks
  • References: only one quibble on the referencing:
  • Spot-checks
    • Online sources
      • 15% of online refs checked. All accurate, with no close paraphrase
    • Books
      • Moyal: checked refs 2a/b, 36, 45, 112, 131, 142 and 149 – all fine
      • Martin and Handasyde: checked refs 20a/b, 41a, 57, 76, 78, 91 and 126 – all fine
      • Jackson: checked refs 21a, 37a, 52, 70, 72 and 150 – all fine.

All impeccably done. And I greatly enjoyed the article, let me say. Tim riley (talk) 15:35, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for checking, Tim; I fixed the title of ref#118. Sasata (talk) 16:01, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments Support - on comprehensiveness and prose reading through now. queries below. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:00, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I wonder whether "within the order Diprotodontia" is necessary in the lead. I feel a little like we're bombarding the reader with classifications.
Done. LittleJerry (talk) 13:29, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Err, we sometimes call it a koala bear here in oz too... :P
Done. LittleJerry (talk) 13:29, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
It has a full body length - why is "full" needed?
Done. LittleJerry (talk) 13:29, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
In Queensland, koalas are unevenly distributed and uncommon expect in the southeast - "except"?
I don't understand. LittleJerry (talk) 13:29, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
this - done now. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:44, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

looks alright otherwise. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:21, 26 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Koala/archive1&oldid=1089817339"