Talk:Portland Trail Blazers/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Lead

• "The Trail Blazers' NBDL affiliate is the Idaho Stampede." What does this mean? You certainly need to expand NBDL into full.
• "The team also advanced to the NBA Finals in 1990 and 1992." I'd change this to sound differently to the previous sentence, perhaps "The team also reached ..." or something different like "The other NBA Finals appearances were in ..."
• I'm not a huge fan of the lead because it reads very listlike. It should sum up the article. It may be best to ask other basketball editors to see what changes they may suggest, or consult other GA or FA basketball teams.

• I'd try to fix this a step a time. Chensiyuan (talk) 15:40, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

• I've reshuffled things a bit in the lead, and I'm actually quite okay with most of the content being retained. However, the lead should also establish a good overview of the franchise's history. I.e., the section headers tell a story, but the gist of that story is not reflected in the lead. This is one part which I can't render much assistance in terms of writing it. Chensiyuan (talk) 15:51, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

History

• I think semifinals should be hyphenated to semi-finals
• "Whitsitt immediately set about retooling the Blazers;" What do you mean by "retooling?"
• Is there any reason why "The "Jail Blazers" era" is a level four heading? It doesn't seem entirely necessary to be so.

NBA Draft

• Perhaps think about changing the bullet point list to prose form.

Television and broadcasting

• I'd definitely prefer this to be in prose form, rather than a bullet point list.
• I presume HDTV is high definition television? I would expand it for the first use.
• "The Trail Blazers television play-by-play announcer is Mike Barrett, analyst Mike Rice, and Rebecca Haarlow is a sideline reporter." I don't think this makes much sense in its current form.

• I think once all that's done, it should be just about there. It's a very good read all told. Peanut4 (talk) 14:11, 28 June 2008 (UTC)

MOS

• Note, all numbers and units should be broken by   e.g. 25 season, 21 straight appearances, 10,000 entries.
• Emdashes should be unspaced. I think I've fixed them all. See WP:DASH
  • Thank you for the review and your contributions. I fixed most of your concerns. As for the semifinal, both forms are fine as long as we use just one throughout. The non-hyphenated version is more common, so I believe it should stay; see semifinal and semi-final. As for the word "retooling", do you want it to link to the Wiktionary's page? I am going to work on the lead and the "NBA draft" section.--Crzycheetah 19:46, 28 June 2008 (UTC)

• Here's a definition of retool. I feel another verb would be more appropriate to say exactly what the coach did/wanted to do. What does it refer to? The franchise? The team? The players?

• I suspect the intended meaning is something along the lines of revamp or restructure. Given the sentences that flow from the coach retooling, it is apparent that he revamped the roster. I think it's just a word that is used more commonly in those parts (N America), perhaps. Chensiyuan (talk) 01:45, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

• It's now "revamped the Blazers roster". Chensiyuan (talk) 15:44, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

• I still haven't got a clue what "The Trail Blazers' NBDL affiliate is the Idaho Stampede." means. Remember, you're writing for more than just basketball fans. Peanut4 (talk) 18:34, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

• Actually, not many NBA fans know how the D-league system works either (quite apart from the fact that the NBDL is a work in progress). In some respects it's not very different from how Man U or Arsenal "farms" their players from the Belgian and MLS teams they are affiliated with. But that is also not a perfect analogy, for the simple reason that the relationship between the NBA and the NBDL is a more direct one. Further, I think there's less privity of farming in the soccer context.
• That aside, it's not necessary to talk about the NBDL affiliate in the lead. It is not given treatment in the body. Confining the information to the infobox (along with the reference) should suffice. Chensiyuan (talk) 06:30, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

• Ok I've taken the affiliate part out of the lead and moved the reference to the infobox. Chensiyuan (talk) 15:39, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

• I can't fix these prose problems. I left a note at WT:NBA, but it seems no one responded. Thanks for the review, hopefully one day someone else reads these issues and fixes them.--Crzycheetah 19:08, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   The article could do with some more images particularly those that might depict some playing action

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Well done to you both for getting this to GA. It was fairly close at the start of the review anyway. Good work. Peanut4 (talk) 21:56, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.